Image is everything

I was given the honor of speaking to two different Mary Kay units this week about the importance of image. Being a Mary Kay consultant for over two years now, as well as a former Miss Delaware, I have grown an increasing awareness of the importance of one's image. What messages are you sending? How do you want people to perceive you? What is the goal that you want to accomplish?

I thought this was an interesting topic that could use further discussion. What makes up a person's image? Is it just how they look or is it more than that? I am here to share the theory of the Whole Body Concept of Image. A person's image is comprised of a bidirectional equilateral triangle: one corner is cognitive, one corner is physical, and one corner is social/emotional. For those of you who have taken Dr. Wilgen's Human Sexualities course, you may recognize this triangle in respect to the topic of one's sexuality. However, I am not going to touch that topic during this post. I just feel that it is a magnificent way of explaining a particular aspect of a person.

1. Cognitive
Your image begins with how you view yourself. It is your confidence that is going to get you places. You can dress and say whatever you want, but if you are not confident it will not make a difference. You need to understand that you are human and it is ok to make mistakes. Finally, you need to approach every situation with an open mind. Never assume a stereotype to be true. I have learned this in both Mary Kay and pageants. As a consultant, I could never assume that a certain type of person would be interested in a certain type of look. As a titleholder, I worked hard to disprove the stereotype of pageant girls being fake, dumb, and stuck up bimbos. Go into every situation within your life excited to learn something new. If your brain is stimulated in a positive way you are more like to act in a positive way and receive a positive outcome.
2. Physical
Yes, image is about appearance as well. BUT let me mention a huge disclaimer: IT IS NOT ABOUT CONFORMING TO WHAT THE LATEST MAGAZINE SAYS YOU SHOULD LOOK LIKE. It is about presenting yourself in a manner that exudes respect. Show not only that you want to be respected but that you respect yourself. Take the time to care about what you are expressing. If you are looking to be taken professionally, make sure you are well tailored and groomed. If you are looking to be seen as a role model, make sure you are proud of what you are wearing. As Miss Delaware, it was my job to be a role model for every person I came in contact with. Do I want young girls to see me plastered with make up on or do I want them to see how make up has simply enhanced my beauty. Negative connotations are given to beauty products or just wanting to dress nice. It is not about covering up or being attractive. It is about sending out the right message when you go out the door. Enhance the wonderful image you have been given. Figure out what makes you feel good about yourself and do it.
3. Social/Emotional
How to speak to someone can make all the difference, and how you act is just as important. I always promote the Golden Rule - "Treat others the way you want to be treated". That is a good place to start. Act in a way that you would appreciate if you were in the other person's shoes. Your posture and poise is another key aspect to your image. As Don Baker would say, be open and outward not inward and closed. Have you shoulders back, don't cross your arms when speaking to someone, stand tall and proud. The non-verbal message should correlate with the verbal message. Never generalize or assume. Speak clearly and with a purpose. When you converse with someone keep an open mind. Present yourself in a warm way that produces discussions rather than arguments. As Miss Delaware, I always had to watch what I said and how I acted. I needed to relate to all age groups and all backgrounds. I was the face of the Miss Delaware and Miss America Organization to many people. My image reflects their image. Make sure you work to lift people up rather than tear them down. Image includes how you make someone feel about themselves and about you. So be sure to act and speak in a way that reflects who you truly are.

I have learned this over the years in my experience in modeling, pageants, and beauty consulting. For those of you out there who are struggling with your image and figuring out who you are, search deep within and find what is important to you. What do you want to do with your life? I have dedicated my life to serving others and making the world a better place. Now, I just have to make sure that everyday I work towards that goal. It all starts with your image. How you see yourself is how the rest of the world will see you. So be proud of who you are and embrace what the world has to offer!

"Be the change you want to see in the world."-Mahatma Gandhi